Ex Bf Is Posting More on Social Media

Exes' social media behavior can be extremely hard to read at times. Not only do most exes appear relieved and happy, but they likewise mail service more than they ever did in the past.

They post more than pictures, like more memes, update their status more than often, and completely confuse us with their newfound freedom and determination.

By all of a sudden actualization more agile on social platforms, they essentially trigger our fears and insecurities and tell us that they've get unlike people without us.

But in reality, this isn't what's going on. They may be happily moving on considering they're fix on leaving their old lives behind, but they aren't necessarily growing as people.

For them to grow, they'd demand to reflect on their shortcomings and invest a lot of time and effort in them. But like dumpees, they'd need to call back nigh their poor choices, regret them very much, and vow to never echo them in the futurity.

This is how personal growth works.

Simply, unfortunately, nearly dumpers aren't interested in growing. They're interested in enjoying themselves, which is why instead of looking within themselves, they focus on external happiness – on things that are new and exciting to them and waste their precious mail-breakup time on unimportant things.

I suppose they feel so empowered with relief and so excited well-nigh their new lives that they arraign their exes for the end of the human relationship and fail the importance of cocky-reflection.

Dumpees, on the other paw, hate seeing their ex relieved and happy. They hate it considering they take their ex's happiness and relief very personally and often arraign themselves for the way their ex acts after the breakup.

They don't understand that the reason their ex is happy isn't necessarily because they were bad partners but rather because their ex had been bottling up negative emotions and lacked the emotional intelligence to express them.

Most dumpers, unfortunately, feel at least some relief. But those who have a victim mentality and lack understanding of themselves and others usually feel very relieved. They feel so relieved they chase after external happiness and go on social media to mail service about it.

Such dumpers follow their instincts as they tend to lack in the maturity and cocky-awareness section.

Then don't think that your ex is posting a lot on social media because of something you did or didn't do. Unless you were abusive to your ex, your ex'southward relief is well-nigh probable directly related to your ex'southward disability to express his or her emotions in a salubrious manner.

In simpler terms, your ex's relief is self-created by unhealthy perceptions of you.

I know information technology tin feel tempting to analyze your ex's social media posts like a crazy person and find a meg means to hurt your self-esteem, only don't do that. Don't hurt yourself just because your ex is posting a lot and seems to be having the time of his or her life.

E'er remember that your ex'due south emotions, thoughts, and deportment are your ex'southward doing and that your ex doesn't even understand why he or she feels and then happy. Your ex just knows that the human relationship was making him or her unhappy and that he or she can finally be happy at present that information technology'due south finally over.

In this post, we're going to talk about why your ex keeps posting so much on social media. Just to brand it clear, this includes Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Tinder, and any website or app where your ex tin can express himself or herself publicly.

Why is my ex posting so much on social media

Why is my ex posting so much on social media?

As dumpees, nosotros don't desire our ex to mail a lot of happy posts on social media. We want our ex to mail only sad and depressing posts considering such posts tell u.s.a. that our ex is having a difficult fourth dimension adjusting to a life without usa and that he or she may soon have an epiphany and come dorsum.

Unhappy posts are the kinds of posts nosotros're hoping for more than anything, just, unfortunately, we normally go the reverse kind.

We get lots of posts that describe relief, happiness, independence, and confidence—and come up across various signs that our ex is never coming dorsum. Signs similar our ex talking desperately nigh usa and dating someone else.

When we meet unwanted signs, our high expectations immediately go up in a blaze and the world comes crashing down on us. No longer exercise we call up that our ex thinks nigh us and misses us, just that our ex is having a great time without us and that he or she doesn't need united states of america anymore.

If this is how you experience – mainly because your ex is posting a lot of pictures and random things on social media, you need to understand that your ex feels extremely empowered by the breakup.

Your ex feels relieved because your ex had been property suffocating emotions inside for a very long time. However, now that the breakup has occurred, your ex doesn't demand to hold them inside anymore. Your ex can just release them and practise the things that make him or her happy.

Although your ex is happy and confident about a new kickoff, deport in heed that your ex is simply temporarily happy. His or her suffocating emotions only got freed, pregnant that it's expected of your ex to appear unlike or even unrecognizable for a while.

It's of import for you to sympathise this so that you don't remember your ex is posting so much on social media because of you. It is, of grade, related to you because your ex associated a lot of negativity with you and held unhealthy emotions within, but it isn't considering of you.

Each and every person is responsible for his or her emotions, including your ex. And your ex just needed to deal with them chop-chop and efficiently. Merely because your ex didn't or couldn't deal with them, your ex failed at communicating them to y'all and projected them onto the world in a form of relief.

Another important thing to note is that your ex is regaining his or her identity. Your ex had been with yous for a very long time and got accustomed to your traits, behavioral patterns, hobbies, habits, and routines and made them a part of him/her.

By doing so, your ex got closer to you emotionally and acquired a piece of your identity (became somewhat similar you).

Now that the relationship is over, though, your ex doesn't want that anymore. Your ex wants to disassociate from you characteristically and behaviorally and focus entirely on his or her own traits.

This is how your ex can distract himself or herself and not remember about the things the two of you have in common.

Why would your ex not want to think about you or be reminded of you, you enquire?

That's very simple. Information technology'southward because your ex felt incredibly smothered past your presence (not necessarily attitude) for days, weeks, or even months prior to the breakdown and now needs fourth dimension to be alone to recover from the stress that he or she has suffered.

If your ex is posting a lot on Instagram, Facebook, or diverse social platforms and apps—and this behavior doesn't resemble your ex'due south usual behavior, it'southward more than than likely that your ex is in the 1st – relief phase of a breakup for the dumper.

Your ex is trying to self-prioritize because doing and then brings your ex peace.

Why is my ex posting so much on Instagram and Facebook

One thing you demand to get aware of is that your ex may be happy at present that your ex feels empowered with relief and various post-breakdown emotions. Merely as time goes by and your ex gets out of the relief stage, that's no longer going to be the instance.

I can almost guarantee that your ex will revert to his or her usual cocky and post a lot less than at present. This is because your ex will lose the primary motivator for posting a lot on social media.

That motivator is an emotion – elation which is caused past relief which is acquired by unhappiness, acquired by (false) perceptions and the inability to express emotions properly.

Your ex could, of course, pick up the addiction of frequent posting. But allow'southward face up it, most people don't. Habits take months to class and only days to suspension. And your ex has merely a few months of time to permanently change before he or she reverts to his or her old self.

So start no contact and give your ex some time to become through the dumper stages at his or her own pace.

In no contact, yous'll be able to relax a bit and learn that your ex is posting a lot on social media mainly because he or she has escaped emotional imprisonment and now feels relieved with an abundance of freedom and independence.

If you lot still can't figure out why your ex keeps posting so much on social media, have a wait at the infographic below. Information technology will simplify things.

Why is my ex posting so much on social media like Instagram

I'd like you to sympathise your ex's behavior and then that y'all don't immediately assume that your ex's Facebook or Instagram posts hateful that your ex has inverse within.

On the contrary, they mean that your ex feels relieved from the breakup and that he or she is engaging in things that are new, different, and distracting.

Some of the things dumpers often do later on the breakup are:

  • meet new people
  • brand new friends
  • post a lot on social media (or conversely, disappear from social media)
  • pick up new hobbies
  • appointment new people
  • engage in excessive self-destructive social activities such equally drinking and partying

Please note that dumpers do these things considering they're relieved and not necessarily considering they're atrocious people. Dumpers merely find new means to distract themselves because doing and so allows them to enjoy their freedom and independence.

And no, they don't distract themselves considering they're struggling to cope without us. This is rarely the case—and information technology'south what fake breakdown experts desire y'all to believe.

Nearly of the time, our exes avoid us like the plague because they've been unhappy with us for so long that they've accumulated anger, contempt, impatience, or disgust.

Information technology hurts to hear this, I know, but they've been feeling trapped and wanted to distance themselves from us to protect themselves from producing fifty-fifty more than unhealthy thoughts and feelings.

Sadly, nearly dumpees are in denial about their ex's lack of romantic feelings and have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that their ex is focusing on moving on.

Part of it has to do with their coping mechanism as the human brain tends to resist any change that threatens its attachment. An even bigger issue though seems to be that dumpees spend a big portion of their time looking for simulated hope in places where people are willing to give information technology to them.

This is why they often fall prey to internet scammers preying on their hope. Some of the internet scams you lot can find these days are:

  • the 30-day no contact rule
  • text your ex back
  • jealousy tactics
  • manipulation techniques
  • spells to get your ex back
  • apology/love letters to an ex

Dumpees' cyberspace "saviors" basically merits that dumpers will miss them romantically after a certain menses of time and that they will run back to them if they say the right words to them.

In truth, that doesn't happen very oftentimes every bit dumpers' negative associations aren't tied to fourth dimension and their ex's endeavor. They're tied to dumpers' abilities to disassociate negative associations from their ex and to the painful, self-reflective events going on in their lives.

This means that dumpers call back about their dumpees and miss them when:

  1. They break upwards with them in the heat of the moment (when they all the same have feelings for them).
  2. Or when they realize they've fabricated a mistake the difficult way (through pain and suffering – when their postal service-breakup plans neglect).

About dumpers experience some nostalgia, reminders of the past, guilt, and even feelings of regret from time to time. At that place's no denying it as dumpers are human being beings with feelings too.

But this doesn't hateful that their occasional increment in negative feelings bespeak love and romantic interest.

All it means is that they respect their ex as a person and that there are certain parts of the relationship that they think fondly of.

I know that this wasn't easy to read if you lot recently got broken up with. But if there'southward i thing y'all take from this article, permit it be that what yous want from your ex is the exact opposite of what you lot need.

  • If you lot want your ex dorsum, what your heart actually needs is for the pain to stop. Y'all want yourself back and not necessarily your ex who acquired you pain.
  • If you want your ex to love you and give you lot recognition, yous need to autumn in dear with yourself. Y'all need to convince yourself that you matter and that you deserve love.
  • And if your ex's social media posts injure you, confuse yous, or badger you and you want to larn more virtually your ex, you need to stop caring almost it. Yous need to detach from your ex and mind your own business.

Your middle isn't telling you what information technology needs to be happy. It just knows what information technology requires for the pain to terminate as quickly with as little try every bit possible.

And then if y'all can't cease wondering why your ex keeps posting so much on social media apps or websites, answer this question for me.

Why do you care what your ex does? Are you curious nigh your ex or are you hurt that your ex is doing something new without you?

Learning the truth will make it easier for y'all to focus on yourself and stop analyzing your ex'south social media.

What to practice if my ex is posting a lot on social media?

Now that you lot know why your ex is posting so much on social media, allow's wait at some of the things y'all can do to stop your ex from playing with your mind.

First and foremost, if you're obsessing over your ex'due south social media and you can't seem to terminate no affair what you do, there'south a very uncomplicated solution to your problem that requires very niggling effort.

Brand it impossible for you to obsess.

Delete or unfollow your ex or delete social media. And if that doesn't work because your ex's profile is public, end using devices that support social media apps.

Get dorsum to using those old Nokia phones if you lot have to and practice whatever information technology takes to stop checking upwardly on your ex.

This is the easiest way to overcome your stalking obsession as getting your ex out of sight will too get him or her out of mind.

Secondly, tell your friends not to update you on your ex anymore. Explain to them why it's important for you lot not to receive updates on your ex and ask them to keep y'all in the night until you lot tell them it's okay to talk nearly your ex once again.

This volition slowly but surely help you detach and allow you to appreciate yourself once again.

And thirdly, become busy and practise something you honey or would love to exercise. The fact that your ex'south social media activeness bothers you and so much ways that y'all're hurt or that you lack personal goals and ambitions.

Either way, whether information technology's your happiness or personal goals, something is lacking. So ready some new goals, get decorated with your life, and exercise your best to lose interest in your ex's Facebook or Instagram posts.

When you finally stop checking up on your ex, y'all'll realize that your ex's social media activity doesn't make a difference in your life and that you've got more productive things to worry about.

Is your ex all of a sudden posting a lot on social media? Are you worried that your ex is moving on without y'all? Equally e'er, leave your comment in the comments section beneath.

And if you're looking for personalized ane-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

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